What were my parent’s dreams?
They had aspirations before I came into the picture. I was adopted very late in their lives, compared to most other families. So what did they want to do?
Did they do everything before I was born, or did I halt their train and set a new course?
Why does age have to be such a factor in dreaming? Now that I’m college bound to another state, why can’t they begin a new pursuance at their age?
Maybe they want to finally revisit Korea together. Without me. Sure, I would love to see Korea. But go. If it would bring a little spark into these past nineteen years, do it. No hesitation. I have plenty of time to go on my own. They don’t.
And to be honest, their life is so bland.
My dad comes home earlier than usual in his new job. His pay is substantially more. It involves teeth. Is it really what he wants to do? If money is not a constriction, go do something new. While he still can. From little town Missouri to bustling New Jersey, he can do what he wants for a change, not what is needed from the family. The only thing in his way is his own mind.
My mom is swamped by the size of the house and its demanding work load. But now she can learn to relax. Fight the urges to tend to everyone’s whim and indulge in herself for a change. She needs it.
I still wonder: if my parents stopped everything to raise me right, which they did, and worked every moment to stabilize my life until college, which they did, then what happens after? Now? I’ve made it. They’re honestly done. But it’s not time to give up just yet. They’re still kicking with the unfulfilled desires of when they were 30 and 40. I don’t want to see you guys miss anything on my account anymore. I can do this on my own and when I need you, I’ll call. For now, go do something wild.